The Good Mistress – move UP! from being powerless to feeling amazing, loved and FREE in 30 days

Elegant Couple YouTube Thumbnail (3)

Are you the other woman?
Are you still thinking this is something you should be ashamed of?
Or are people trying to tell you should go after a man for yourself, because you’re quote unquote worth it?

My name is LS Harteveld and I am here to tell you;
That’s all a bunch of bullshit.
Even IF it is your secret desire to be “the chosen one”?
Even IF you never intended this to happen?
Even IF you doubt yourself?
Even IF all of those things?
You can still learn to stand in your power, embrace where you are and take the pressure off of yourself and of your partner.

A pressure to fit in, to justify, or to set ultimatums.
A need to validate, calculate, to manipulate.
After 30 days, you will have lost your desire for him to break up his marriage,
because you will either feel super comfortable in your mistress skin,
or you’ll see that this role is so not you,
and that being a mistress gives you opportunities, perks and benefits
you don’t put ANY value in,
and that are meaningless to you,
- so that you’ll easily break up and move on.

It’s a win-win situation; after 30 days you’ll feel better

I m not here to shame you, or to blame you.
Nor him, for that matter.
Because often enough both things;
you getting entangled with a married man,
just as he ending up being a cheating husband?
Those things could be part of your deeper lying needs and desires.
Just like a desire for secrecy, can be a part of who you are, of what makes you tick.
Before you pass any moral judgement on your own behavior, or his, it is important to know to which extend you simply need those things to be sexually fulfilled.

If being in a one-on-one relationship is going to bore you to death, you are not going to make anybody happy punishing yourself for your current status (or lack thereof) and start dating single men.
Most likely you will fall into the relationship trap;
it is the tendency to automatically default to a normal relationship,
when two people are single and like each other very much.
And strangely enough – they will do this EVEN when they KNOW they need excitement, and distance, and that they’re giving that up the moment they become a couple.
But I’m drifting off here; this is a training for when you’re (still?) a mistress.

And if you sign up for this training TODAY?
Not only will I give it to you for FREE;
you will also get my personal email address,
and will be invited to let me know about any topics you’d like me to cover.

So maybe you are a man with a mistress?
And you want me to cover your options?
Then that’s a done deal. I ll make a video about that.

And trust me;
This training will give you clarity in ANY TYPE of relationship, you re not 100% sure of.
Not just being a mistress.

This is a limited time offer – after that this training will be a home-study course and it will no longer be interactive. So if you want to influence what we’re going to cover
get it for free?

Sign up now.

Go to my page;

And go through the confirmation process – you may have to check your spam box if you can’t find my message. You will receive immediate access to the training.

I look forward to seeing you soon.

An Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living



White Tigress Notes; The Tigress Breaks Free (White Tigress story episode 3)

madonna_ig_840In episode 1, I shared my personal history, and how I became phobic of sex.
In episode 2, I explained that becoming a White Tigress is actually a calling.

By the time I was 26, I was deep into my second long term relationship, and my sexuality was barely alive. I was living in Australia, in what I would call a post-Victorian setting. No one was supposed to have sex especially not teenagers. They were allowed to drive, unsurprisingly usually like maniacs, and on Monday the news started with all the parties at parent’s places that had escalated. So they seemed to be inventive enough to find ways to let all that bottled up energy out. The relationship with my partner was great, but he wasn’t doing well. Sex was high on our least likely things to happen list.

And believe it or not, but that’s pretty much how it stayed for another nine years. Who wants to leave a partner under those circumstances right? And especially since I felt responsible for burdening our sex life with our phobia from day 1. I gave it a rocky start, mentally, although aside from that the first 6 months had been awesome and I loved him very much. I was convinced that once he started feeling better, we could figure out the sex thing again.

Ultimately I broke up with him. Saying I wanted to fall in love again. Have sex for the first time again. This was the truth, but still, I felt like we could have made it work, if he had gotten himself together. This was entirely unfair. Not just to make a partner responsible for your sex life (one of the many reasons I don’t believe in monogamy as an agreement) but also because I realize now that falling in love, and having first time sex, is my natural sexual orientation. That’s what I live for. Just like I still loved him because those first six months had been so much fun.

To trick myself, and him, into thinking that if we (as a couple) could ever come up with a relationship that was going to satisfy my need for lovers, new experiences and single life excitement? That was cruel. It was unintentional, I didn’t have that kind of clarity back then, but nevertheless. I never wanted a relationship. The reason we had one was because of the phobia and not being able to deal with being single.

So even though I didn’t fully understand the reasons we had failed, I did quit eventually.

I can’t say I “left” because we stayed together for another two years, because that was housing wise the best solution. It was really nice, living together as the brother and sister we had become ever since our Australia days. We even kept sharing the same bed, for the first year anyway. Those two years were the icing on the cake for me, because now I didn’t have to worry about “fixing” him, and was free to start meeting new men and go for that ideal of falling in love again, and the excitement of first time sex.

But before I went there I first had to unlock the door to the aids phobia closet. And let the demons out.

An Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living

Although I initially intended to write more, Episode 3 ended up being the final episode to sharing my personal story. I do have more White Tigress Notes, and together they make a nice collage of what I call my explorative work; an investigation of the boundaries of sexual freedom, and the (social) practicalities of becoming a White Tigress.

note from LS Harteveld;
I’m publishing my books The Wait Worth 8 and for the final leap, I m going ALL IN. So I won’t be writing new material, for two to three weeks. In the meantime I will repost these White Tigress Notes – which were created at Facebook earlier this year.

My White Tigress teachings are based on a book by Hsi Lai and my personal journey.
You can like the White Tigress page on Facebook, or sign up for my new official White Tigress blog at; White Tigress Lair

extra; (Dutch/Nederlands)
De Witte Tijgerin – gids voor solitaire vrouwen die een geweldig seksleven willen en plenty energie



White Tigress Notes; The Calling (White Tigress story episode 2)

6b7925d24fd704c39544431b8c07a958In episode 1, I shared my personal history, and how I became phobic of sex. In this episode I want to put the path of the White Tigress in the perspective of other spiritual paths; one that starts with a calling.

Calling or call, is a word most commonly used for someone who enters priesthood, or enters the monastery. And for a very long time, the decision to become a servant of God, was the only alternative to starting a family. That, or becoming an old spinster should the family option not succeed.

What strikes me though, is that although in theory women’s emancipation has provided us with unlimited options, they’re rarely taken with the same determination as a real calling. How often have you heard anyone, commit to any personal journey, that is not a marriage and kids type situation? How about “never”? Want to know why?

Two factors here; a. Maybe people don’t get the call b. Because the call is almost always ignored.

Read Joseph Cambell, who wrote the Hero’s Journey;

Refusal of the summons converts the adventure into its negative. Walled in boredom, hard work, or ‘culture,’ the subject loses the power of significant affirmative action and becomes a victim to be saved. His flowering world becomes a wasteland of dry stones and his life feels meaningless—even though, like King Minos, he may through titanic effort succeed in building an empire or renown. Whatever house he builds, it will be a house of death: a labyrinth of cyclopean walls to hide from him his minotaur. All he can do is create new problems for himself and await the gradual approach of his disintegration.

From this description, you can derive its characteristics. You are hearing your call (or calling) when;
- you know that if you don’t face this, your life will be meaningless
- even though you may succeed (in other’s people’s eyes) you will always be aware of the Call you ignored.
- you will build a protective wall so that the call cannot bother you
- and within those walls you will spiritually die.

How many people do you know who have built their protective shell, with signs of status and success or even a family, when you know they are profoundly unhappy? I bet you know a hell of a lot more of them, than those who’ve joined the convent or served some other calling.

All those castle builders, family men and empire holders chose the comfort of being socially accepted and successful, over their calling. Some break free at a later age, when the suffering has become unbearable. And we laugh about the middle aged men trying to be young. Or about the women in their forties who dye their hair red and join African dancing.

When the truth is; their midlife crisis is the first attempt to answer the call they abandoned. To find their way back to meaning and joy. And some get calling when they become ill, suddenly right back in line with what it is they came here to do. Some after a burn-out.

So what I want you to understand is this: rarely ever, does anybody go on a quest to become a master of his or her life, in alignment with their destiny, unless the current situation has become absolutely unbearable. Either by slow spiritual death, mental agony or acute existential fear.

I consider The White Tigress to be a calling. It requires you to look all social conventions right in the eye, and to be prepared to live without society’s approval.

Sex is viewed in 99% of the cases, either as a leisure activity, comparable to going for a drink. Or as relationship glue. And the remaining 1% is where it is viewed as a spiritual path for couples. Rather ever is it viewed as a spiritual rich path for singles, nor is single sex (as in not in a relationship) ever identified as a source for longevity and vitality.

On the contrary. I remember exactly when I found my zest for life, as a single. I was 17, heartbroken, and aids phobic. Yet over the moon when I discovered there were many men to kiss and cuddle. My energy levels soared and my anxiety attacks were under control most of the time. But within a year my female friends at high school expelled me from their group and I also got comments from grown-ups as well. I couldn’t take the loneliness, especially since the fear was never gone. I decided I needed to go steady. So I did.

I ignored the Call of that single year of sexual abundance. Instead I built my castle. By the time I was 25 my relationship was more or less sexless. But I didn’t feel it anymore.

My once flowering worlds had become wastelands.

An Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living

note from LS Harteveld;
I’m publishing my books The Wait Worth 8 and for the final leap, I m going ALL IN. So I won’t be writing new material, for two to three weeks. In the meantime I will repost these White Tigress Notes – which were created at Facebook earlier this year.

My White Tigress teachings are based on a book by Hsi Lai and my personal journey.
You can like the White Tigress page on Facebook, or sign up for my new official White Tigress blog at; White Tigress Lair

extra; (Dutch/Nederlands)
De Witte Tijgerin – gids voor solitaire vrouwen die een geweldig seksleven willen en plenty energie

White Tigress Notes; Drowned Cub (The White Tigress story episode 1)


THE JOURNEY OF A THOUSAND MILES… starts with a single step

If I think of ALL the information I want to share, all insights I may still be missing, all angles and layers and perspectives there are to be covered and understood in this matter, the idea of building this new life’s work, this EDUCATION, is almost daunting.

But I know I want to do it, with religious conviction. The White Tigress – a name I borrowed from the Taoist cult The White Tigress because it resembles most closely what my message is – is my Magnum Opus. The legacy of a ten year journey. Although when I started in 2006, it all seemed a lot smaller and a lot more personal.

On the surface it wasn’t that big a deal. I had experienced one three year, and one fourteen year relationship. I was 34, and I desired some adventure. There were no children to be split, nor did I have a desire for children. It was a peaceful parting.

But under the surface, much deeper and darker waters were stirred. Because of course, there had been a reason I had chosen the relationships, over fooling around at a young age. A stage when it is in most circles more or less accepted that you experiment and stay single. The reason was simple yet unbelievably real; aids.

I had my first period in the early eighties, right when aids was discovered. We had lived in Africa, and I knew immediately I had been at risk there. Not at risk as in;
“I had no idea how aids was distributed, and in my childish mind I exaggerated.”
But at risk as in;
”That ball of cotton wool with Iodine the school nurse used, was used for the whole school!”
I m a bit of a cry baby, and this had served me. Because the second time I came there for treatment and she reached for it, I said it hurt too much and I got a disinfecting spray from a can. One exposure less! But my Africa background had put me at risk before my first period, and before anybody knew anything.

And that was before sex education dug its filthy claws into me.

For those of you born after 1985 let me give you a little background info on the eighties; It is generally viewed as the most depressing, gloomy decade since the second world war. There was financial success and gain for some, and lifelong unemployment for many. If you graduated in the eighties, you had studied to be on welfare, and would be lucky to find your first job at 35.

Next to this grim employment market we had Thatcher in England, Reagan in the United States, and the cold war was peaking into an arms race on one hand, and anti-nuclear demonstrations on the other. With its bright and neon coloring, the eighties were a decade that looked fresh on the outside, but it was a desperate era and a spiritual wasteland.

And that was before the first footage of aids patients surfaced. I will not even begin to describe how an aids patient looked like those days, but suffice to say that if your job was to educate people on how to prevent getting the virus, the absolute fucking last thing you needed to do was to scare them even more. The. Absolute. Last. But like I said; it was the eighties. It was not the time nor the place for subtle messages, so they printed brochures where the word aids was written in blood, deep kissing was advised against because it could not be excluded as a potential risk, and oral sex was dangerous. And I know I said it was written in blood, but it was actually blood spatter. As if Freddy Kruger would come get you if you had unprotected sex.

Aids became the same stick pregnancy had been before;
A way to beat all sexual freedom out of a whole generation.

But then something happened. And I m still not sure how this was possible, but I think it must have had something to do with all the other teenagers already being hardened from all other misery and agony they were confronted with each day, because NO ONE got the message. I have not had a single girlfriend, or boyfriend, who gave safe sex a second thought. They were all immune to the indoctrination, and the mental abuse that sexual education was in the eighties. All. Except of course; one.

And she went into hiding.

An Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living

note from LS Harteveld;
I’m publishing my books The Wait Worth 8 and for the final leap, I m going ALL IN. So I won’t be writing new material, for two to three weeks. In the meantime I will repost these White Tigress Notes – which were created at Facebook earlier this year.

My White Tigress teachings are based on a book by Hsi Lai and my personal journey.
You can like the White Tigress page on Facebook, or sign up for my new official White Tigress blog at; White Tigress Lair

extra; (Dutch/Nederlands)
De Witte Tijgerin – gids voor solitaire vrouwen die een geweldig seksleven willen en plenty energie

Confessions of a Yoga Teacher – Done

Carrie_Bradshaw_Prestonby LS Harteveld

Every time I am amazed at how simple life is. And at the same time, how easy it is to make it incredibly complicated. That we identify a trail running through open fire and deadly marshes, as our correct course in life, because it answers to our idea that life is hard, that some things are worth fighting for and that good things do not come easy.
We believe in improving our situation, ourselves, relationships and the list goes on and on – much more than in everything we know, deep down in our hearts, to be true; That only the fool wrestles through the thorns. Especially if the bushes are right next to the road, and the path itself is completely clear.

Ever since I started my training as a yoga teacher I was asked about my daily practice. Ironically, I had one at the time. And I remember the application being a somewhat strange experience, because I could tell they were used to students who still needed to establish that.
Hardly anyone arrived at the gates of this four year teacher training, already having a solid daily practice of an hour or more.
Except me.

Yet once I started teaching, the exact opposite happened. I entered the army of professionals to whom having a home practice was supposedly a prerequisite to being a good teacher, and yet my enthusiasm for it was nowhere to be found. My home yoga was gone. And for years I’ve been trying to get it back because I believed in the story that unless you have a home practice, you are not a good teacher. I believed in the thorns.

But yesterday all the pieces came together. I solved the yoga practice problem and within 24 hours I had basically solved every other problem in my life as well. Once I saw that I was wrestling the bushes next to the road, in one area, it was much easier to see the pattern. And to get my scratched ass on the road of least resistance instead.

I had identified my home practice, or lack thereof, as a problem because I had received strong signs a daily yoga practice had created a major improvement of my menstrual cycle. No more spotting, which is loss of blood before the menstruation or in between periods. A couple of weeks of daily yoga, mainly creating videos, had cleared up the whole menstruation problem in one sweep. But I found that out, after I had stopped doing it.

One of reasons I had cancelled the videos was because they had not felt like a proper home yoga practice. They were okay “content wise”, and I posted them on my social media. But they didn’t satisfy my ego, I didn’t feel like I had achieved a proper practice.
And I had never expected them to be this effective.
That those thirty minute yoga sessions, including five minutes of Madonna storytelling, would actually have the power to do something for me physically.

Even now, when it had cured me and there was absolutely no need, or supporting evidence, for a “real” home yoga practice, I secretly still believed in the path with the biggest thorns. That a personal practice was supposed to be hard.

I reinstalled my daily YouTube and looked around at other affairs in my life. Where was I demanding myself to be perfect, because that was the only way it counted? And where was I then paralyzed instead, and beating myself up about that?
Where did I function incredibly well on hacks, shortcuts, and things that just came out of me naturally? Only to then dismiss them?
A lot.
Oh yes, and there too.

When the truth is, you only have this much willpower. You only have this many hours in the day. And before you decide that something has to be enormous and impressive and hard, for it to count, sweating your ass off to get it perfect, just think about all the other stuff that you could have used that energy for.
There is the 80-20 rule; You can achieve eighty percent of the result, using twenty percent of the resources. After that you have a choice;
To make it perfect, throwing the other eighty percent of your resources at it.
Or move on to the next project, using the next 20%
You could end up with five projects, all good to go, but with some room for improvement. Most likely something only you would see.
Or have one project, one area of your life, as close to perfection as humanly possible but at the cost of having invested it all.

You get choose; Be a perfectionist or be productive and create five times more?

Or in my case;
Bootcamp myself on sheer willpower into a daily ninety minute yoga routine
make only a thirty minute video, and then use the other eighty percent of my energy to write a daily column, publish my eight books, translate my Witte Tijgerin guide from Dutch to English, update my websites, run a yoga studio, be a writer and have a flourishing social life?

The meaning of Done is better than perfect,  has never been more clear.

An unexamined life is not worth living

I post a daily yoga video on YouTube
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De Witte Tijgerin – gids voor solitaire vrouwen die een geweldig seksleven willen en plenty energie

madonna_1999Begin 2007 kocht ik een nogal vreemd boek.
Hsi Lai - De Witte Tijgerin
Geheime Taoistische Liefdesoefeningen

Het ging niet om oefeningen voor koppels, maar juist om een leer voor vrouwen die met yoga, een dieet, en veel orale seks hun jeugdigheid wisten te behouden. Tien jaar lang was het boek mijn go-see om mijn seksleven én mijn gezondheid te verbeteren.
En nu heb ik de leer vertaald voor Westerse singles.

klik hier voor

aflevering 1 Ben jij een Witte Tijgerin?   
aflevering 2 De Partners van de Witte Tijgerin
aflevering 3 Seks en Dating (slot)

Ik maak er een boekje van dat je aan jezelf of een ander kunt geven.

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An unexamined life is not worth living