50 Shades of Stoya

I m currently on a break from blogging, and keep in touch by newsletter. Here’s the latest one.
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Stoya is having fun

Stoya is having fun

There are definitely benefits to a blogging sabbatical. And the moment you add a 7 week long Twitter fasting, for full commitment, you get to watch even more interesting phenomena. First of all, the moment I stopped writing for the LS Harteveld site, I immediately launched a super labor intensive project on my yoga blog. This is my professional blog where I am an average garden variety yoga teacher. Apparently I needed something to do, and was eager to fill in the void (and not with working on my books).
The yoga writing project started out pretty neutral (how to develop your personal practice, that sort of thing) but soon I was sharing everything, burdening my students with my love life and the capacity to write in 50 funky anecdotes to spice up one topic, which was usually only vaguely related to yoga in the first place.

Since I was still keeping in touch with all my deviant/ more interesting friends through Twitter, I decided to close down that account for 7 weeks. I really expected something close to a miracle…
That I would live in this ocean of peace, a social media low heaven, where I would be a serenely smiling yoga teacher by day, and a serenely smiling secretive diarist working on her book. Also by day. At night I would get 8,5 hours of sleep.
Yet what happened?
I opened a Twitter account for my work.
Uh oh.
And I became GOOD.
I made new friends, who felt drawn to me because I was a yoga teacher, or someone who lived around the corner, or because we liked the same wine bar. I hooked up with other local entrepreneurs and I acquired a new level of being part of my local community.
And a new level of being an internet addict.
Just with new friends, and a new blog to write for.
Uh oh.

But there is still stuff I can’t share with them. And that part of me, the kinky side, the provocative one, the slightly aggressive one (oh, a little harder than that), the gruesomely submissive ….. that all, has no place to go.
So thank God for this newsletter!!

And by now I m sure you re thinking: Who s Stoya! Make your point you crazy woman!
Okay: Stoya is a girl crush, just like escort Avery Moore.
I was actively idolizing Avery, a pale, toned, 1000 dollars an hour escort-who-could-also-write-really-well, but Avery was a difficult love to feed because she didn’t show her face on pictures, only her voice on interviews, and she recently sealed off her site so that visitors now have to create an account first.
Huffpost LIVEBut the Huffington Post gave me something better than Avery: Stoya!
“Can A Porn Star Be America’s Sweetheart?” (video interview Huffpost)
And Stoya turned out to be a pale, toned, porn star-who-could-also-write-really-well,  but who showed her lovely Snow White face absolutely everywhere!
If it wasn’t for their breasts – Avery is full bosomed, and Stoya is a striking cup B but only if she feeds on ice cream for a week (her words) – I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart.

And after a few weeks of drooling over Stoya I realized she is the missing ingredient from the Hollywood movie 50 Shades of Grey. I think anyone who has seen it will agree it would have been much better as a high budget porn, showing in theatres (probably the first main stream porn since Emmanuelle!) all over the world.
And Stoya looks more innocent than Dakota Johnson (the current actress), her sex scenes would do the book justice, and she would definitely know how to appreciate a good spanking.

Just like me.



Eén gedachte op “50 Shades of Stoya

  1. joanofark

    Yes !! I totally agree! For a long time I wondered why they didn’t pick stoya & deen as the characters of 50shades. But then, one day, it dawned on me that there’s a possibility that the couple was offered the role, but rejected it. I do still hope that they will do their own version of the movie though. Not a parody, but remake

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