I’ve switched species

3a_3b{ originally written in 2017 }

Ever since I became single, I ve jumped down the rabbit hole and have been kind of surprised that even after ten years, it’s still a mess. Year after year, the thought grew stronger that I really needed to get my shit together.
Act like an adult.
Get organized.
PLAN – to stick with, not to then do something completely different.
Get some sort of control over my life.
Less than a year ago I still aspired this. I wanted to have a balanced life with a smooth running business, which I’d manage in a few hours of strategic desk work to then emerge a peaceful, poised example of a yoga teacher to my students. I would be like the always friendly smiling Marie Kondo of yoga teaching;
I had culled my life from all things chaotic, rooted out any disruptions, and lived my perfect yoga life.

I would also do ninety minutes of yoga every morning. Without checking Twitter or Facebook in advance.
Well okay, just Twitter then.
I really expected to be able to minimize my life and be off at four every day in order to, and remember the coach who said this; “Shower my babies with hugs and kisses”
That’s what adults did!
They managed their shit.
They didn’t get up in the morning promising herself she could touch her computer just a wee bit, to write a tiny little Facebook post. And then still be there at 4 pm, naked in a bathing robe, with coconut oil dripping down your face from your hair mask. That was entirely unprofessional!
For at least a year, but probably longer, I fought to get it right. Until one day, late December 2016 I discovered a coach who was something completely different. She didn’t organize, create, plan. She didn’t play by the rules, because she had been so long in business there were no rules when she started. Oh, and then there was that year when she did learn how to do things properly?
Know what happened?
She ended up a 100K in debt.
Hitting rock bottom made her return to what she had always done. And what she knew best; to do it her own way. Except this time, she really went all in and just UNLEASHED.
Oh. My. God.
It’s a good thing she has nannies and self-confessed has “reached the point where I don’t even know how to operate a washing machine” because unleashed does not sound like a safe condition to welcome the children home with.
But boy, does it sound exciting!
And yes, I know what she means.
She now laughs at coaches who teach you how to run your business in part-time, so you can have more time off.
“Time off of what? Your life?”
One time she was working in the lounge of a W Hotel. At 2 am she unplugged her earbuds, looked up from her laptop, and realized she had just spent four hours making sales, promotions, and creating content. And now everybody around her was dancing and the disco balls were flickering.
She had been pushing her multi-seven figure empire from the W night club.
The biggest mistake I ever made, was thinking I needed to slow down to gain control. There is no control if you are truly passionate about what you do. I tried quitting writing, in order to get around to publishing my books.
I literally felt like I had it nailed!
Know what happened?
I started making daily YouTube videos, started organizing and reposting all my blogging, launched a video training for mistresses; And a year long program for my yoga studio.
In other words; while I was holding a firm lit on my writing, needing both hands, right behind me the fountain of creativity just EXPLODED!
Sometimes I think I ve switched species, ever since that coach.
It’s literally as if I am a whole new person than in 2016. Or as if the engine is already at six times more power, and the rest of me is still trying to keep up!
It’s so scary, but it’s such a big thrill.
And I understand why I was doomed to fail, at all those well-meant business advice formulas, and all that professional advice. You can’t tame, plan, smooth out or minimize something that can only be UNLEASHED.

An Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living

I’ve switched species  will be published in the first English book under my real name:

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