I can’t believe it!
For probably a year or so, I ve been shy selling my favorite book.
Big, diaries and erotica
I simply didn’t mention it, and hardly ever linked to it.
Not even last month, when the male protagonist, my lover Mr.Big broke up with me.
And my shyness didn’t have anything to do with the fact that;
- the description alone is more revealing about me, than any civic-minded respectable author would ever reveal about themselves in their entire career.
JUST the description!
- I feel vulnerable because I have been a mistress/ this mistress, and fear it may one day cost me my life
- this book about the first two years of my affair with Mr.Big is a sad reminder we’re no longer together
- the book is the most in-my-face confrontation, that I need to write about my love life. It’s like written proof of my indiscretion (or written proof that I m a human and a writer, not a Swiss bank)
All those things are true, and have their own levels of awkwardness attached to them, but the reason I didn’t sell my book about my affair with Mr.Big was because there was an “n” too many, in the description.
It said “an” scarred single, instead of “a” scarred single.
And I just cringed every time I saw that.
I publish my own books at Lulu, and I thought I remembered that every time you adjust something about your book, EVEN if it’s just in the description, you were compelled to buy/order a new copy to “check” it before it was allowed back on the market.
Adjusting my description would cause a delay, maybe it would be blocked until I had “checked” the new edition.
I knew that it could probably be bypassed because they have a really good customer service, but I simply had not come around to do it.
And every time I wrote a piece, I thought:
“I should link to my book about Big!”
Only to then realize, grinding my teeth, I still had not fixed “an” into “a”, and decided I was not going to promote it with the description in this shape.
It’s very late, Sunday. Should be in bed already.
I was writing “fix description Big” on my to do list, and suddenly I was like “Oh to hell. Let’s get this over with.”
I intended to fix it, order a “new copy”, allow the book to be blocked for a few weeks until I had it straightened out: I didn’t care.
I was at the “at any cost” stage, rather than putting something that was 9 months overdue on a to-do list.
Only to the read the sentence:
“If you only adjusted the description or the price, you can clear the book right away.”
So there you go!
Big is my favorite book probably because it is so personal. I talked myself out of publishing it many times.
With the reasons I gave you before, and things a lot like it.
Even now, I read that description and know what’s in the book, and think:
“I can’t believe I published this.”
But by fixing it, I ve run out of excuses not to sell it ;)
or check the store, with all my books
An Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living
PS: If you are Dutch/Nederlands, your best buy is
“Het Boek Benjamin”
It includes my main 8 books, including 3 Dutch ones
Mango / 22 erotische verhalen/ de Candystop
En natuurlijk “Big, diaries and erotica”
My diaries en erotica are available at my BOOK SHOP
coming soon: new books
1. Reboot – a hero’s journey. Diary 2017-2020
2. I M NOT CHANGING MY FUCKING SHOW
3. Big Mistress – confessions, columns and sex advice from the other woman
4. Blote Kont- (Dutch)
5. ALL THE THINGS – unpublished work 2010 – 2020
The best way to receive updates on when these books are ready is to follow my
English blog which I established in 2018: