Finding Lauren’s Diary including the Secret Pages | publishing journal day 1

There are many unfinished blogposts on this blog. All ones I started, with grinding teeth forcing my way through the new software-
only to give it up, for reasons I cannot remember.
But I do know that ultimately I gave up altogether and just stopped visiting this website.

Ever since an update this website has become unusable to me.
I had to arrange this update, four, five months ago, but it has it resulted in this being the only blog I own that does not have the “cheat option” of Classic Editor.
Years ago, WordPress introduced and ultimately forced upon us, software called Guntherberg, which feature is that it works with blocks, and not like a text editor.
On all my other websites, I can still use the option of Classic Editor, but on this website I cannot.
And I do not want to spend more money.

But this website is still my best, most guilt-free option, to doodle and draft, and just play around with projects that have more of a journal or log function;
And not so much rely on story-telling.

This ancient website gives me a guilt-free place to create as many posts as I want because it isn’t one where people can subscribe to.
So these posts go onto my social media Twitter and Facebook, but do not go out on email.

Today I m giving it another go to bring this website, and my work under the name LS Harteveld, back to life!
WITH the handicap of having to use WordPress Guntherberg.
As you can already see on the photo in center opening this blogpost, instead of the text displayed around the photo, in columns;
I have no idea how this works.

But how difficult can it be, to get some text across?

So why are we here today?

In summer 2019, I started keeping a fictionalized diary, as a 25 year old younger version of me. Events that happened in 2019 found their way into the diary, translated to their late 20th century reality.
And I also absolutely, intended to LIVE, like it was 1994!
But this is a hard thing to do, I feel I am still learning there…. but that is my endgame;
To LIVE like it’s the turn of the century.

It was/is an amazing project, and to this day I consider the diary entries it produced on my main blog, my best and certainly my most interesting work, because it combines performance art (living in the 20th century) with diary writing, leaving ample room for fiction.

I think it was 2021, when I harvested the diary posts I had so far, with the intention of creating a published diary out of it. Two actually, volume 1 and 2, but I decided to put them in one bind.

These files must be somewhere on my computer, but I have no idea where.

And there are three things that “‘worry” me, or that I have no idea how to go about. The three things that have kept me from picking up this work, all those years, and that I hope to find out and write about as well, are:

1.The diary posts were harvested “at first sight”. So only the posts that had in their title that they were part of the diary. But I am not really sure that covers everything…. I think I need to go back to see if I have everything

2.I made a beautiful collage as a cover for the book, but have no idea where it is.

3.There are missing (sex) chapters
And I have no idea if I had dug them up, and included them in the manuscript, or if they are still somewhere to be found.
From what I remember, the first book ended with a chapter that had been online, but then I took it offline, because it was making me very uncomfortable to have this out there.
And the second book ended with a chapter that I did not publish, but kept offline.
But it can also have been the other way around.

So in general, I have no idea if the manuscript (which I still have to find!) is complete, or if I missed blogposts, and I have no idea if I have included those forbidden chapters yet, of which I don’t know where to find them.

I have reserved ONE HOUR A DAY, from this day forward to work on publishing Lauren’s diaries, and will probably add extra (more recent) chapters as well, but I m not sure yet.

My first priority is to find 2021’s manuscript (of 1994-1996) and see what’s there.

~Lauren/LS Harteveld
An unexamined life is not worth living

since 2018 my official blog is:
This is also where I write my Lauren 1998 diaries.
Plus letters to my coach Sara.

publishing journal is a stand-alone project, written on my oldest blog, which does not have a “Subscribe” button, nor would I know how to install one.

But you can follow publishing journal on

My diaries en erotica are available in my BOOK SHOP